Blog provided by Resources for Adolescent Parents (RAP). It has been written by a young parent.
My story is about memories from my childhood. It represents a time in my childhood that was not pleasant. This was when I was about 9-12 years of age. I grew up in an unstable environment. I experienced emotional, physical, mental, and sexual abuse from a very young age. These experiences have made me who I am today, and have also made (the way of) life very hard for me. My mom was addicted to drugs (pills) and alcohol for a majority of my life. Some of the sexual abuse I experienced, was caused by my mother. She had traded me at times to her boyfriends and friends, usually for drugs.
In my house growing up, there was my mother, little brother, little sister and me. It was also a full house often because of my mom’s parties or family members or strangers being over. I raised my younger siblings until I was 16-17, and also took care of my mother.
I was in foster care when I was really young, around age 7 or 8 and then again when I was 13, I went back into care, which is where I am now at 20. I age out on my 21st birthday.
My mother woke up one day and discovered that her husband had left; later that evening she found out that he was never coming back. My Auntie had seen him out with another woman, kissing and hugging. She told my mom about it. My mother began to scream and blame me for him leaving. She believed I wanted him for myself, calling me a “selfish b****”, “stupid C***” and “Fat a** cow”. My mother blamed me for him leaving because I was “rude, and full of attitude”. Then my mother beat me with a broomstick, including on my face.
I had bruising afterwards, she also ripped out a piece of my hair, I now have a bald spot to this day. My auntie had to step in and stop her from sending me to the hospital. I was constantly at fault for the things that happened to my mother until the age of 17, which is when I got pregnant with my son.
Now my mother and I have a better relationship, I still have some personal issues regarding my mother, it’s a work in progress to this day. Although my mother has never apologized for anything that happened to me as a child, she has made an effort to maintain the connection between us. My mother is now almost 300 days sober, and we are working on our relationship every day.
This is my story.
I hope it helps other people know that you should always treat others with kindness and respect because you never truly know what is going on for them at home.