My Story of Hope

Blog provided by Resources for Adolescent Parents (RAP).  It has been written by a young parent. 

I never thought I would make it to 16…

A little bit about my past

When I was a child I was in an abusive home.  My father was a pedophile and my mother played the victim.  My mother couldn’t advocate for me and my siblings and the abuse went further.  I spoke up about what we were going through, therefore CFS came into our lives and apprehended us in 2008.  Fast forward to 2010 I started talking about what my father did, but the foster home and my siblings did not believe what I was telling them.  Then I got separated from my siblings across town.

Going ahead to 2015 I was struggling with depression and I was acting out in ways that my foster family couldn’t handle anymore, so they sent me to a group home called White Butterfly with Neecheewam Project.  Now I’m 11, moving from a small town I’ve known since I can remember.  I meet the girls in the home and they’re all older than me.  The group home ranges from 12-18. At that group home I was introduced to drugs, alcohol and smoking which I had never even seen before.  I wanted to feel cool and be a part of the group.  And it worked for a while.  But then the feelings started coming back and I was too unstable to be there.

For all of 2017-2019 I was placed in locked facilities in and out of MYC and shelters.  I was doing very heavy drugs for 2 months of summer 2019 until I advocated for myself that I needed help.  I wanted and needed a family.  I sent letters to the southern authorities with the help of Norwest Coop, Children’s advocate and a lot of nagging from me.

Lisa came along at the end of summer 2019.  She took me in knowing all the struggles and needs I had.  After spending a year and a half in the youth center I wasn’t ready for change.  But I met my partner in summer 2020 and he was very against anything drugs.  Lisa helped me get into rehab and I worked on myself.  I got out 3 months after and it was hard adjusting back to the real world.  I relapsed but pulled myself together and started going to school.  Lisa helped me get back into a routine, but I still was struggling to stay where I was.  I was so used to drama and things happening in my life that I didn’t like the standstill between school and bedtime.  The only person who wanted and kept me on my toes was my mom and my partner.  So my {Lisa} helped me advocate to see my partner on the weekends as an incentive to keep myself in school.  Only on the exception I go to school from Monday to Friday.  I end the school year off clean and finally stable from the life I was leading prior.

It’s summer 2021 and I’m pregnant.  During the months of my pregnancy I got very sick.  I tried to go to school but my health just wasn’t in good enough shape to go as well as me being embarrassed/uncomfortable around my classmates.  I go into labor in March and race back to the city.  My boy comes in March and I spend time with my son bonding and getting ready for the next steps of life.  I moved from my foster moms to my very first apartment, my son is only 3 months old and I was scared…


I started the RAP program with New Directions located at Gordon Bell High School when my son was 9 months old, he’s now a year and doing very well with the other children here.  I’ve got my grade 12 and graduate end of June.  I never imagined that one day I would actually make it back to high school and finish.  Financially I’m doing alright making ends meet, but I would like to start my journey of getting my career built.

My siblings now almost 20 years later are remembering things that had happened when I was a child.  They try to apologize and I have forgiven them to some extent but 11 years of rejection doesn’t go away overnight.  I love them and I’m trying to build a relationship with them and their kids but it’s hard to look past everything that happened.  Me being alone and them all being together just makes me upset even though I know it wasn’t their fault.  But I’m trying form my son and his cousins.

At this moment in time I feel as if I’m struggling mentally to be in a good place with myself.  I want to feel good about who I am as a person and as a mother.  I’m unaware of where I need to start being myself, I haven’t really found my identity and now it’s my responsibility to help my son find his.

What I want for my future…

What I want for my future is for me to be a hard working mom.  A mom who supports her kid no matter the circumstances.  I would like to have a career I’m proud of and what I enjoy doing.  I’m looking forward to seeing the things I can accomplish alone as well as with my family unit.  It’s a blessing to be with a man who treats me well and be a mother to such a wonderful little boy.  He is such a smart baby.  He’s a year old and I can’t put into words how much he changed my life for the better. 

Having a baby young is not for the weak but it is nothing short of a blessing.  I have no regrets.

This is my story of hope.